wtorek, 23 czerwca 2015
One thing at the time.
This blogpost was supposed to be about another topic, but I decided to follow my heart and write about what really is in my head right now. There is no point in forced topics, or in inventing them just to have something to post here. I think I've started to be too worried about opinions of other people... Will they like my new blogpost or not? Will I find any comments here? Will they be satisfied because of what they could read here? Or will they rather be disappointed? Yesterday's walk I took, helped me to realize very important things, to soothe my worries and it inspired me to change something and be happy - even though I'm going through something I don't have any control of and the only thing I can do is - trusting. What in my case is more than difficult. It doesn't mean I can't be happy, though. Because it's me who decides about it.
While I was replying to dear Martina's intro letter I paid more attention on the whole proccess of writing. What I'm doing in so called "meantime", when I'm writing a letter. Instead of doing one thing at the time I was chatting with friends on WhatsApp, eating dinner, checking my facebook notifications, going through Instagram pictures, talking with my sister... WHY? WHAT'S FOR? Why am I so addicted to all the social media? Why can't I turned my laptop off, brew a delicious tea, and write a letter in a complete silence, giving my friend my whole self, my time, my thoughts and what's more important - my attention. It's not diffucult, isn't it? Maybe that's the reason why I have been feeling like a bad friend recently. Because I'm distracted by things, I'm not doing my best, I'm trying to please everybody around me and forgetting that the source of the problem is inside my soul. As soon as I will feel a peace at my heart, I'll be able to share it with others. There is a long way ahead of me, till I learn how to use all technological goods properly, it seems. I don't want to revel in them, because all in all they are quite dangerous and it's easy to lose oneself, while using them. I often catch myself on showing something what isn't true.
I try to show how happy I am, what a wonderful life I have, while all I really want it reading nice words, getting tons of comments and likes - it won't make me a better person, I'm aware of that. It won't change anything. It won't make the need of being hugged, listened to, understood disappear. The nice feeling all the social media brings is just for a while. One-second happiness, I would say. After that, you have to close everything, your computer screen stops to shine and you are left with... nothing. Just darkness and your sensitive heart calling for living - discovering, exploring, being happy because of small things, giving your best, helping others... You won't find it in social media. Looking at a new, delicious food won't provide you with all its amazing flavors, looking at pictures of fit and slim people won't make you feel good in your own body, looking at pictures of beautiful landscapes won't make you feel that excitment of travelling on your own, discovering this wonderful world and having some remarkable experiences and adventures.
So I decided to do a social media detox so checking my accounts won't be the first thing in the morning and the last one before falling asleep. I will start with only 3 days and maybe I will share my opinion, thoughts and insights in letters... With those of my penfriends who would like to read about them, of course. I need changes. I need to start LIVING - genuinely.
Taking one thing at the time sounds good to me. What a joy it might be to dedicate oneself to something, without thinking about hundred of other things that are happening at the very same moment. Can you imagine reading a book in a silence, no phone rings, no notifications, no checking on other things... Just you and a book you are reading - characters, a plot, an adventure you are disappearing in. Or can you imagine writing a letter in a peaceful atmosphere, the sound of a rain outside, or some birds singing just for you and your friend you are writing the letter to? The quiet sound of pen, sliding through sheets of paper. The smell of a tea right next to you... What a nice feeling it might be to finally HEAR your own thoughts, which you want to share with that special person. I believe that our penpalling world is going to be even more beautiful and special with such an attitude. I want you to realize that when you happened to already achieved all those things, I mentioned before - you are very lucky. Don't let anybody and anything destroy it.